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I have a little girl watching over me

Brunch with Becks is an ongoing weekend series where I wax poetic on tales from my life starting with the 9 Truths. Yes, I too can’t comprehend that all these odd occurrences have happened to me.

I promise I'll get back to the 9 Truths soon. I wrote this post back in May on my iPhone.

I have a little girl watching over me.

She is me. I am her.

She makes me stronger. She screams, "don't tell me what I can't do!" She wonders what happened to my childlike wonder. She asks me about my dreams and can't comprehend my difficulties.

She is me. I am her.

For many years I kept a picture of her close by. She sat on my bedside table, watching me as I slept. She was the first thing I saw in the morning. That little girl is porcelain perfect.

She is me.

My three-year-old self was amazing. She could do anything. For a while she wanted to be an Olympic swimmer. Then she had thoughts of being a psychiatrist just like the fictional Marlena Evans.

Her family told her to write.


That little girl in the plaid dress—holding a lamb—with a locket around her neck—made me stronger. She reminded me not to settle but to dream. To know anything was possible.

She was my reminder to be who I needed to be—who I wanted to be. Every morning I would look at that little girl and knew I had to do more. Be better. That little girl wanted the world, how could I deny her?

So, every day I try and live up to her dreams.

What can I tell you about her?

She was devoted to her parents—they are still her heroes—and her family. True friendship means the world to her but her heart has been blackened by betrayal. Now it takes longer to really know her. She longed to find true love. She found it!

But she's still trying to find out why she's here.

She loves Detroit.

I've kept her in the frame for all these years because she is pretty and polished and cute. All the things that I'm not anymore.

With age, come wrinkles and moles and brown spots. Spots of disappointment and heartache. Bad decisions and good decisions.

But when you're 3 or 4? It's sun-kissed skin, yellow polka dot bikinis, a hand to hold and a puppy to love. And even the biggest dreams seem possible.

I am her. She is me.

After two years of her not being on my bedside table, I need to find her again. She can do anything. She is amazing.

She is me. But am I still her?

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Reader Comments (5)

The little girl in the frame will always be pretty and polished and cute, but she remains in the frame. You on the other hand are beautiful, intelligent, caring and giving and can do ANYTHING! She will stay in the frame for eternity, her only reason for being is to inspire you, give you encouragement and be your muse. You are awesome!!!

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermeowwwz

I agree with Roni. Consider the evidence:

* You look with childlike wonder at an ice house, Wright houses, Old Mission Peninsula and so much more.

* You create and innovate . . . a Moxie personna, a blog, apparel, a promising career path.

* You earn a job that didn't exist before you filled it.

* You write well and regularly.

And oh yes: You're also pretty and polished and cute.

Like that 3-year-old, Becks, you're showing you can do anything . . . even without clutching a toy animal.

September 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlan Stamm

It is interesting to read that others look to their younger self to see inspiration.

I am one that loves to encourage others, and try new things myself. I have always struggled through stuff but had awesome friends and family that have helped.

Your story is an inspiration in itself, you show that you remember and that in itself should inspire you. I am from the UK, and your little story has inspired me - I've no idea how I found it but glad I did.

Continue to be amazing, I don't know you in person - just from this page. Your words are spreading, and impacting still so maybe that Olympic swimmer is still in there, pushing you forward.

Thank you

- John

October 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJohn


I'm not sure why it took me a few days to see this comment. But I want you to know that I found it at 12:01 on my 43rd birthday. Thank you for your words, they are an amazing birthday present.

I don't know how much else you have read on my site—so in case you didn't know— my husband is English. We met by pure chance at a pub in London. I took a risk and moved to the UK and lived there from 2004 until late 2008. You can find those stories elsewhere on the site.

Thanks for stopping by even though you don't know how you found it. I think that makes it even more cool.

All the best,

October 10, 2012 | Registered CommenterBecks Davis

I like your stories very much! I think that this one is the most interesting! You are so talented author. Thank you for your articles.

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