Adapting To A New Country
Tuesday, May 19, 2009 at 1:44PM
Becks Davis in Becks Davis, Detroit, Detroit Moxie, Elsewhere, England, Ponderings, adapting, adapting to a new country, expats, moving

Most people have very romantic ideas of moving to another country, especially moving to the UK. They think Big Ben, the Queen, and the English countryside. Ok, so here’s the thing, it’s not easy and it’s not necessarily romantic. It’s hard.

Bath, EnglandThe first 6 months I spent in England was the honeymoon phase. Then reality reared its ugly head. There are some things you expect to be difficult and thats ok. It’s the simple things that throw you for a loop, like communicating. People, just because it’s an English speaking country, it’s still hard.

I remember going to a charity event the first year I was in England with all the girls. There was a photographer who took pictures when you walked in. Easy? No, hard. I wasn’t married yet and the photographer wanted my name, my sur name, which would be last name to us Americans. And I spelled it. It’s long and Polish. It has a Z. And that is where the problems started.

You see, the letter Z is not pronounced “Zee” in the UK, it’s pronounced Zed. I kept on saying, “C as in Charlie, Z as in zebra,” and it got me nowhere. Finally, one of the girls said, “Zed as in zebra.” Gah! If you’re saying zed, why say zebra?

Many years later, when we were getting the house ready to sell, I went to B & Q, which is exactly like Home Depot, down to the orange colored logo. All I wanted to do was buy an empty paint tin can. They wouldn’t sell me one, I could see the empty paint cans behind the counter, but they wouldn’t let me buy one. I walked out of the store, and called my husband on my mobile and said, “I hate this country.”

Because that’s what you do when you live in another country and can’t accomplish the simplest of tasks. You blame the whole country. It’s not fair and it’s not rational, but it’s human.

My husband is going through similar situations here in the U.S. and I feel his pain. He’s English and many people don’t understand him. I know what you’re saying; you think you understand an English accent and my husband must be talking to idiots. You may be right.

My husband, his frustrations, and an innocent tiger.It’s stupid little things like going to the hardware store and asking for something by the wrong name. Or by the right name that no one knows, or for something that may not exist here. Newel cap. That’s what he was looking for and couldn’t find. Later, he was trying to get an insurance quote and none of the representatives called him back. And I hear him, “I hate this country.” And I know what he means.

It’s frustrating because it’s just communication. We’ve been doing it our entire lives and now we have to adapt, change the words we use and how we use them. Adapting isn’t easy, you feel like you’re going to lose a part of yourself. In the end, however, you become better, stronger.

The Detroit People Mover showing its optimism.That said, I still will never say zed if I’m pronouncing the letter Z. However, I still say sur name, telly, aggro, and cheeky. And brilliant is one of my favourite words. Did you see what I did there? I put a “u” in favourite. Kill me now.

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